


Shattered Ring

by baunitchief (emeryazure)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Smut, angsty, for chapter two, set in s13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-25 19:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13841265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeryazure/pseuds/baunitchief
Summary: JJ is done with pretending after Walker's death and being acting unit chief, she can't hide what she feels anymore and decides to come clean.





	1. Now or Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic was inspired by the unit chief wives discord and also this post on tumblr:
> 
> https://incorrectcriminalminds.tumblr.com/post/171283238358/this-is-my-wife-jj-and-this-is-jjs-wife-emily
> 
> anyway, this is kind of an expansion on my other fic "Fear of Knowing" and was supposed to be a two-parter but it got expanded for... reasons. the title for this fic is from the song of the same name by SZA. either way, enjoy!

Jennifer Jareau walked about ten paces behind the man ahead of her and she was trying desperately not to roll her eyes as William LaMontagne Jr. was full steam ahead, tugging at the bow around his neck that he’d worn to the black tie event. The ceremony was to honor the loss of SSA Stephen Walker at the hands of Peter Lewis and his family had received his FBI Memorial Star. It had brought the blonde to tears but it hadn’t seemed to have the same effect on the man seated next to her who was lazily clapping and lulling his head throughout the entire thing.

By the time they had left the FBI’s headquarters, JJ fully regretted ever asking the man to come to the event. And now as they were headed into the prestigious hotel bar with most of the FBI and local law enforcement officials for drinks in celebration of Walker, she regretted it even worse.

“I can’t believe I’m still getting drug to these ridiculous things,” Will begrudges as he finally manages to loosen the tie and lets it lie slung beneath the collar of his white dress shirt. This time JJ couldn’t resist and actually did roll her eyes at the man’s indignation.

“You make it sound like I actually drugged you to make you come tonight,” JJ quips with an annoyed edge to her voice. “No one forced you to come.”

“No, but you did promise me that there would be booze,” Will turns as he reaches the door of the hotel and he smiles ruefully at the woman. “Besides, I couldn’t exactly make perfect little Jennifer Jareau look bad in front of all her colleagues and peers, now could I?”

JJ can’t respond to that cause she knows damn well that he’s baiting her, just begging her to try anything that will give him the permission he’s looking for to bolt. So instead, she laces her lips and cheeks with a fake smile that she’s more than glad that Will can read as she offers, “Yeah, let’s get you that drink.”

With that, JJ is already through the door, waving to Matt and Kristy seated at a table across the way and quickly finds Rossi and Garcia by the bar. Probably the only place she could stand to be in the joint right now, so many familiar faces among them but none she was particularly fond of short of the team.

She is regretting encouraging Spencer to go home and that he didn’t have to come. Many understood why it was so difficult on the man, he felt responsible in some ways and he was still very much an outcast in the Bureau but JJ now felt that it was unfair, if she had to suffer through this she figures that Reid should have to too. But it was no use dwelling on it now.

She sees that Garcia’s blue eyes are lined with tears, red blood vessels making themselves known and she’s sniffling so JJ finds the woman and pulls her into a hug. Rossi simply sips his drink and tries not to pay so much attention to the women. That’s when Will comes up to the bar next to the older agent, “Can I get a bourbon straight up, no ice please? Thanks.”

Rossi looks the man over and as soon as the drink meets the bar, Will has already slung most of it back. JJ eyes the man and already knows that he is trying to get drunk as fast as possible. She’s trying her best to ignore him however but it becomes hard as the man is getting back to back drinks sent his way and is not slowing for anything.

The elder agent sends a quirked eyebrow towards JJ, his once unit chief, and she just stares back. She knows this is not good especially if even Rossi is judging the man for his drink intake. She shakes her head and turns back to Garcia. The bubbling blonde was going on about the people at the hotel bar and how they didn’t deserve to be here without ever really knowing Walker.

It had been ten minutes since they had arrived and Will was already three drinks deep when the dark-haired BAU unit chief finally showed. Emily Prentiss walked through the door with a little trepidation to her. After all the internal investigations and then finally being cleared, she wasn’t entirely sure where she stood within the bureau anymore.

JJ’s eyes immediately found the woman like she had sensed when Emily had arrived. She makes eye contact with the woman and the brunette makes her way over to the group who seemed to have their own sort of awkward tension underlying but Garcia seemed the one who was keeping them afloat conversation-wise.

As Emily approaches the group, JJ immediately smells the usually foreign scent on the woman and she knows immediately what it is and what had caused it. She smiles tight-lipped at the other woman as their eyes meet like so many times before. Everyone reads into their little conversation without words but choose to ignore it like usual except for one person in particular.

“There’s that unit chief that my wife adores,” Will nearly shouts at a volume, it seems that the alcohol had set into his bloodstream rather quickly. The team giving him a once over as he says this, all of them wide-eyed and JJ just rolls her eyes again.

“William LaMontagne,” the voice comes from the opposite end of the bar as an older gentleman starts to approach their little group with his own drink. “I didn’t know that you made rounds at FBI functions, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, Chief Lundquist,” Will’s words come out in a tumbling fashion, unsure of themselves. JJ automatically knew who the man was from working cases with DC Metro homicide and knew him to be the chief of police. “Uh, yeah, this is my, uh, my wife, Jennifer Jareau with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, this is some of her team and their Unit Chief, Emily Prentiss, she’s practically JJ’s work wife.”

The tension between the group grows exponentially at the man’s awkward introduction, Emily and JJ’s eyes meeting again before Emily looks away again. Penelope and Rossi are standing and still sipping their drinks, their eyes trying to find any other source for their attention.

“Ah, yes, I am familiar with Agents Jareau and Prentiss’ work,” the older man offers up, clearly unaware or intentionally ignoring the awkward strain resting within the group. “You did great work on the Taveras case a few months back and glad you caught the bastard because we were stumped.”

“Just doing our jobs, sir,” Emily says with a nod towards the man. And the air seems to get even thicker, JJ’s thoughts turning to the conversation and all that had happened following that case.

“Good to meet you, Chief Lundquist but if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to talk to another one of our agents,” Rossi offers with a nod of his head before excusing himself.

“Oh, I’ll help,” Garcia manages as she scoots off behind the older agent before sending apologetic eyes towards Emily and JJ.

“Well, it’s good to see you, LaMontagne,” Lundquist offers his hand to Will, who is slightly swaying in his stance, and shakes it with a nod of his head. “I’ll be seeing you around the office and it is good to see you again, Agents. You’ve got yourself a real catch there, Detective LaMontagne.”

“Oh, she’s a _real treat_ , let me tell you, sir,” Will shoots back sarcastically and everyone knows it. It doesn’t take a profiler to sense the strain in his voice. The MPD chief walks away with that and JJ sighs, maybe from relief or maybe just out of frustration.

“Thanks, Will,” JJ says with a hint of bitterness to her tone. Emily instinctively knows that something wasn’t right between the two and she itches to get away as fast as possible as she awkwardly reads through the messages on her phone.

“Uh, there’s something I need to deal with so if you’ll excuse me,” Emily nods and exits as fast as possible, JJ’s eyes following her unit chief all the way out of the building.

“You know, it wouldn’t be so bad if you could just admit it to yourself and get it over with, JJ,” Will says as he sips his drink at the bar. “If you just stop this ridiculous charade you’ve been putting on for a decade, I’m tired of being a pawn in that game.”

JJ’s blue eyes find their way back to Will but she knows he’s right and can’t readily admit it, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Will.”

“Why the hell did you even drag me along to this event if it wasn’t true, Jayje?” Will shoots back and she knows he has a point. “First you not wanting to tell the team that we were together, us breaking up and Emily being the one to suddenly convince you to get back with me and now all this, a decade later. When will Jennifer Jareau ever actually admit something true to herself and her real family?”

“Leave it alone, Will,” JJ warns but it seems to do no good with the man who was drunk and his inhibitions were lowered.

“No, I’m tired of leaving everything alone for you and I won’t,” Will says with an edge of anger lining his tone. “I’m _not_ your husband anymore and I’m not gonna be your pawn.”

With this, JJ walks away, not even being able to stand breathing the same air as the man anymore. She finds herself outside the building again. She figures she’d make circles to calm herself down, to maybe work up the nerve to go back inside and deal with the man but she doubts much will help in the way of that. What’s worse is that she knows he’s right.

As she is rounding the corner of the hotel, that’s when she spots Emily Prentiss standing there and taking a drag of her cigarette. JJ smiles a little, her senses had served her right when she thought she had smelled it on the older woman earlier when she walked in. She decides to approach with caution, she eases her way over silently and simply stands next to the woman who sighs.

“How did you know where to find me?” Emily asks, a little defeated but not entirely shocked or ashamed at the notion.

“Well, I thought I smelled it on you when you walked in,” JJ reasons. “But you know it doesn’t take a profiler to know that you hate these things, you always show up late and reeking of cigarettes cause these political events are the only thing that stress you out to the point of smoking again.”

“On the nose, as usual, Agent Jareau,” Emily quips sarcastically. “But you didn’t have to come out here and expose yourself to the secondhand smoke, you know?”

“Hell, maybe I could use a cigarette after my night and the way Will is acting,” JJ says with a roll of her eyes. Emily just peaks her eyebrows and offers the cigarette after taking another drag herself. JJ eyes it and figures it couldn’t hurt this one time. She takes the cigarette and smoothly takes a hit.

“Yeah, what is up with him tonight?” Emily asks and JJ is stock still, unable to respond immediately. “Where are the kids tonight?”

“My mom took them, they couldn’t very well stay at the house or the apartment by themselves,” JJ says and her eyes widen suddenly at the realization of what she had just admitted to her unit chief and one of the best damn profilers she’d ever known. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce.

“The apartment?” Emily asks the obvious question that JJ should’ve expected but the blonde just shakes her head at herself. Of course, it would be Emily who she slips up around.

“Uh, yeah, Will has his own apartment now,” JJ admits, handing the cigarette back over to Emily who quickly hits it, releasing the smoke before she lets herself really take in this information. Maybe she was waiting on more details to come from the blonde who was more than hesitant in giving them.

“What does that mean?” Emily asks the obvious question, she didn’t just want to assume the worse. “Is something going on with you guys? I mean, I haven’t seen him or really heard about him recently but I just assumed everything was business as usual.”

“We’re not together anymore,” JJ confesses in a tone no louder than a whisper but she feels the weight of the secret fall away from her shoulders as she releases each breath of truth. “We got divorced a couple of months ago.”

“JJ, why didn’t you tell anyone?” Emily asks seriously as she turns her body towards the younger agent, her shoulder falling against the side of the building. “We could’ve been here for you and for the boys, why did you bring Will along tonight if you’re not even together?”

“Cause keeping up appearances is what I’m best at, I guess,” JJ says with a simple shrug. “There was a reason I was so good at being a media liaison and I guess I just didn’t want anyone looking at me any differently, thinking I broke up the BAU’s resident happy family.”

“Well, I think Matt and Kristy had taken that title anyway,” Emily says with a slight smirk and JJ laughs and nods in agreement. “How long? How long have you’ve been unhappy?”

“I don’t know if I ever really was happy, but he’s Henry’s father so maybe I felt some kind of sick loyalty to that idea,” JJ says with a shake of her head. “But after Walker, I was distant and blaming myself for what happened and then the whole acting unit chief thing happened and I just, it took us away from each other completely.”

“Wow, JJ, I didn’t even know anything was going on,” Emily says seriously looking at the blonde profiler.

“You couldn’t have cause I didn’t let anyone know,” JJ offers. “You know, I thought that there were signs that Will and I were supposed to be together but I think I was looking for them because it was never right with him and I was ignoring all the real signs.”

“Real signs?” Emily questions with a peak of her eyebrows, curiosity getting the better of her. “What were the real signs, JJ?”

“You know, when I was taken by Askari and Hastings, it wasn’t Will who I hoped and knew that would save me, you know?” JJ admits to the brunette and meets her brown irises, she thinks she sees the recognition in the older woman’s eyes. “I hallucinated while I was in there that it was you that saved me, no one else, just you and then you actually did save me.”

“JJ, I-” Emily starts but can’t finish her sentence, not evening knowing what she was really about to say.

“You flew all the way from London to save me and I have been an idiot,” JJ says and tears start to form in her eyes thinking about it all. “I have managed to screw everything up because I have known and was terrified of what it all meant, what I felt- it’s been you, it’s been you since you held me that night in Paris cause I was terrified to go back to Afghanistan, cause you were terrified to start your life over again.”

“I get that, I felt it too, you know?” Emily offers and god, is she weak cause right now she doesn’t have the words to put forth the feelings she’s hidden away for over a decade. “I don’t even know where to begin with all this, JJ.”

“You know, I’ve played the regrets and what ifs over and over in my head and it hurts, every damn time it hurts cause I know I made the wrong choice, that night in Miami,” JJ says and all the regret was eating away at her and she had to get this out. “When you told me to go for Will, I should’ve just turned and said what I really wanted to say, to who I wanted to say it to.”

“JJ… that long?” Emily asks simply enough but it wasn’t simple, not at all. Not after what they’ve hidden from each other for so long, the feelings they both so readily have felt and ignored.

“That long, I’ve wanted you for so long, Emily and I-” JJ shakes her head, realizing what she was about to do was either going to be the dumbest or best mistake of her life. “You said you were here for me if I ever needed to talk, but I don’t want to talk anymore, we’ve talked enough… I love you and I want you, Em.”

JJ was not expecting the older to woman to toss the cigarette and to take her by the jaw, for her lips to meet hers, for the electricity that ran through her body from the simple touch. From her back being pressed against the hotel wall, for Emily’s body to completely encompass her but she meets the woman’s lips with as much ferocity as she felt for the past decade. And she had never wanted something so much in her life. She was sure now, maybe for the first time, the signs were right this time.

“You’re right, JJ,” Emily says as her lips break apart from the woman for a moment. “We’ve done too much talking and I’d offer to take you home if I hadn’t had so much wine.”

JJ laughs at the notion cause she had seen Emily downing glass after glass at the FBI’s headquarters during the event. “Well, luckily Will drove separately so we could just stay here, for tonight. Me and you, not talking.”

“That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard,” Emily says with a smile and takes JJ by the hand back into the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, the title of this chapter comes from the Halsey song that inspired this fic a lot.


	2. Earned It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy friday, folks! anybody in the mood? this chapter was painful and hard and challenging and literally made me lose sleep so i enjoyed it and hope you do too. so sit back, take it easy and enjoy the ride!
> 
> ps: this chapter is dedicated to my boy, Spencer, who kept encouraging me to keep writing this even when i didn’t want to write another word of it. let alone post it. congrats on a year, son!

The two women easily walk back into the hotel, most people were busy talking or drinking or both but Emily still dropped the blonde’s hand out of respect. JJ knows why she did it but honestly she wishes she hadn’t because the younger woman has spent so much time hiding that she doesn’t want to anymore. She knows she doesn’t have to hide anymore. As she follows Emily to the counter of the hotel, Garcia meets the blonde’s eyes.

JJ easily leans against Emily’s back and caresses her hips while she pays for the room. Blue eyes and blonde eyebrows inquire of her but seem to put it together in a second’s time, if Garcia’s jaw literally falling to the ground is any indication. JJ just sends a mischievous smile and a shrug before Emily is smiling back at her and leading her to their room.

It was three floors too high for JJ as they rode the elevator in mostly silence before the blonde grabs Emily by the hip again and kissed her again with years of pent up inhibitions and needs and wants. Emily is the one with her back against the railing and kissing back with all that she could muster. By the time the elevator door dings open, Emily is shaking mess in the lift and it takes her a second to come out of her daze. The door nearly closes on her before she catches it.

By the time that Emily managed to get the door open, JJ’s pretty sure her heart is trying to kick its way out of her chest. She knows what she wants and it had taken her more than ten years to get it but here she was and was she ever about to take advantage of the opportunity.

“JJ, look I should really start by saying that I love you too and that-” Emily starts to say as she enters before JJ takes her by the lips again, kissing her deep and wanton. Her tongue sliding in to where Emily’s words had tried to escape from but she didn’t need any more words. She needs Emily Prentiss on top of her, in her and taking all of her. Hell, she needed to do the same to the older woman. She wasn’t picky at the moment. She just knew she needed Emily more than she ever had in her entire life.

Not in Afghanistan. Not when Emily moved to London. Not even with Askari and Hastings but now.

“No more talking,” JJ manages between her kisses. “I know how you feel cause I feel it too, we don’t need to talk or anymore words, remember?”

“Yeah, no more words, right,” Emily says as she feels JJ start to play with the crooked belt lining the black dress pants she had worn for the occasion. She kisses JJ again, shoving her against the bathroom door of the ensuite. She feels JJ moan into her mouth, her body curving with just the right amount of need and Emily Prentiss had never felt so alive.

JJ was lost in the feel of Emily Prentiss’ soft lips and if she lets herself think about where she needed those lips, she could come right then and there. But she enjoys the lingering and longing kisses, she enjoys experiencing all she had missed for ten years. She lets the older woman explore her mouth, her tongue easily finding its way around new territory like the multilingual and cultured woman that Emily is.

But the blonde has never felt more assured of herself or the moment that she finds herself shoving Emily against the door of the hotel room. Emily seems lost for breath at the suddenness of the action but finds the words, “Wow, who knew that you had it in you, Jareau?”

“Oh, I can most certainly flip the script, don’t you worry about that, blackbird,” JJ husks as her lips ghost over Emily’s in a teasing manner before they find Emily’s jaw. She finds her lips ghosting over Emily’s delicate skin and she feels her own flushing with desire. She loved the feeling of the brunette moaning and the vibrations as she sucks and licks and bites at Emily’s pulse point.

She pulls Emily’s body into her own and it nearly takes her own breath away, the feeling of this woman like this was better than any of the eleven years she had spent with Will combined. She finds herself so overwhelmed by the feeling that her hands are taking the black blazer off the brunette's shoulders before she can even comprehend it.

Emily helps her along with the task at hand and tosses it haphazardly towards the closet on her right. The dark-haired woman finds the strength in her legs to stand straight and starts to walk towards the more comfortable setting of the room but finds herself shoved against the median where the coffee maker set, JJ not letting her much farther as she had ripped away the white button-up to find the woman’s collarbone and the throaty moan that releases itself reveals a sensitive area and JJ smiles.

The blonde takes a moment to really take Emily Prentiss in, her brown irises blown nearly black now tells JJ that the other woman was just as assured and turned on as she was. When Emily kisses her again there is a hunger that JJ didn’t know existed in the older woman, especially when the brunette’s teeth bites down lightly on JJ’s lower lip and the blonde releases a sound that she herself had never heard before. JJ didn’t entirely know this side of herself and that’s what made it all the more exciting.

When JJ finds herself shoved towards the closest bed, she lets herself fall easily on it. This felt like a bigger metaphor for whatever it was that her and Emily were falling into and she didn’t mind so much when it lead to moments like this. Like Emily Prentiss straddling her so readily, taking JJ’s lips to hers or her lips falling about JJ’s cheek and then ear. God, how this woman knew that JJ’s spot was right at her ear, she’ll never know.

As Emily bites down on the lobe, JJ keens her hips and Emily loses herself to the feeling which allows JJ to go for the buttons of the white shirt. She was certainly on a mission to get this woman’s clothes off as fast as possible and as each button fell away exposing a little more of this woman’s ivory skin, JJ felt her lips finding themselves falling to the exposed skin of the woman’s chest. The shamrock shaped scar still lined itself there and JJ hesitates in her actions only momentarily. Her darkened blue eyes find Emily’s in a questioning manner.

“Yeah, I never got around to having that thing removed,” Emily quips when she realizes what had tripped JJ up in her exploration. “There’s not a lot of money in being dead, you know? And I guess, after a while it really came to symbolize more than just Doyle.”

“What does it symbolize?” JJ asks in a quiet tone, afraid to ruin this moment, afraid that with the wrong words or the wrong tone that Emily would come to regret being with her.

“It symbolizes that Doyle doesn’t own me anymore and that you’d come back for me, even from Afghanistan,” Emily says as her lips find JJ’s again in a soothing kiss. “It symbolizes that I’d go anywhere in the world for you, come back from London only for you.”

JJ tries, tries so damn hard to keep the tears from lining her eyes but it’s useless. How had JJ tried so long and so hard to fight these feelings? How had she made the wrong choice all those years ago? How had she ever let Emily Prentiss hold her in Paris and not do anything about it? But goddammit if she wasn’t here and the older woman wasn’t on top of her, letting her have as much as she could possibly take and JJ would be a fool if she didn’t make her feel all the love in the world because of it.

The blonde is now doubling her efforts to release the brunette from her shirt and has it off within seconds as she has Emily by the neck and is pulling her down for another kiss. She manages to flip Emily on her back, Emily starts to protest but JJ has a finger over the brunette’s lips before anything else can be said. “No words, just feel and let me love you,” the blonde whispers against her own hand and takes in the feeling of the older woman's breath releasing.

Nothing could prepare her for the sight of Emily Prentiss in her black bra, panting and exposed, laid out on the mattress before her. JJ sees all the scars and the tattoos and what many would call imperfections but it all means the world to her. She doesn’t think there has ever been a moment in time where she wanted someone so much, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Like she was destined for this moment, to show the unit chief all that love truly encompassed.

She sets herself to work and if she was on a mission before then JJ didn’t know the meaning of the word because now as her lips find their way back to Emily’s collarbone, she feels her body responding as much as the older woman’s. She feels every moan and curse as it slips from the brunette’s mouth, she feels the muscles tightening and shivering as her lips peruse their way over delicate skin.

Her hands sliding over Emily’s abdomen and her hands slips towards that god forsaken belt that JJ has desired to release from the woman for all these years. She feels some sort of triumph when she unbuckles and releases it, like she had finally conquered some sort of foe that had been taunting her for years and she smiles at the thought.

JJ’s lips kiss at the lining of Emily’s pants and the brunette moans, JJ knows she is probably torturing her but she wasn’t hearing complaints yet. Her lips find their way higher, her tongue finding its way out at random intervals, through Emily’s belly button and higher as her hands sneak behind the woman’s back. She finds the clasp of the bra easily, she looks into the brunette’s eyes as she does this and she sees nothing but encouragement.

As the barrier falls away, JJ is breathless but finds herself unable to keep her mouth from landing at the object of her desire. One hand landing on Emily’s right breast while her lips finding the pert dark nipple of her left standing at attention only for her. She suddenly feels the itching and scratching at her back, she feels the dull of Emily Prentiss’ infamous nails scratching their way towards the dip at the back of the black dress that she adorned.

“You’ve got way too many clothes on,” Emily says with a frustrated moan as she feels JJ’s teeth clench slightly against her causing her to arch her back slightly but the blonde releases her momentarily. She leans back up, sitting in a straddling position and pulls the little black cocktail dress from her thighs all the way up, slowly and carefully. She feels the heat of Emily’s eyes on her as the entirety of her skin is exposed.

As the dress makes it way up and over her head, JJ feels Emily’s hands starts to roam from her thighs to her hips and JJ feels the fire of the older woman’s touch as it goes but she manages to grab the woman’s limbs just quick enough to pin them back against the mattress before her own desires become too much. JJ finds that it is herself who is panting now, not entirely sure she had the self-restraint to keep the brunette at bay long enough to please her but the blonde knew what she wanted and what it was that Emily needed. She just liked to tease her all the way into submission, making her earn every move.

JJ couldn’t deny how she was already soaked through her underwear, Emily’s moans had taken care of that and as she lets her fall back on Emily, she lands on the woman’s abdomen and she hears Emily hiss slightly. She follows Emily’s eyeline all the way to where she needed Emily the most. They both knew it now and there was no hiding it, not that JJ was particularly trying to.

She momentarily smiles and decides to slide down the brunette’s body, unbuttoning and taking the black dress pants with her and off completely. When she lands back on the brunette woman, she sees Emily’s eyes are half-lidded and staring her way around her body. The tension and the arousal was apparent in the room, the smell of sex was turning them both on more than they already were by each other. But JJ was smiling, her lips curling into a little mischievous smile.

“You like that?” JJ asks simply enough but they both knew what she was referring to. Emily knew she had JJ wet and ready for her but she couldn’t do anything about it, not yet. “You like knowing that it’s you that makes me this hot and this wet?”

Words fail Emily Prentiss, so instead she just licks her lips and bites her bottom lip as she nods and JJ’s hands slide up the woman's arms that hadn’t managed to move an inch since JJ had sent them above the older woman’s head. Her right hand grips at Emily’s left while her other hand leads to Emily’s wrists and grips it as she guides it down gently. She was hovering over the brunette just enough to give her a good look at her breasts and she smiled again easily as she watches those brown eyes carefully.

She leads the older woman’s hand exactly where she wants it, just at the heat of her center, enough for both of them to feel the pressure there and the wetness that had seeped through. “Fuck, JJ,” Emily moans, wanting to explore but having a feeling that if she moved any further that JJ would make her pay for it. Not that she minded so much. “I need you.”

“No, I need you, _right there_ ,” JJ sighs as she allows Emily’s hand to explore a little more and to slide the ruined cloth up and down, the slow movement doing just enough to drive them both insane. She feels Emily’s middle finger find her clit and that is enough to have her shaking slightly before the woman starts to run circles around it. “ _Fuck, Em_.”

Before Emily knows it however, JJ has swiped her hand away like it was a foreign object and the blonde is freeing herself from her bra and next her underwear. All the brunette can do is stare as the garments fall away and she is allowed to see JJ in all her glory. Every single fucking inch of Jennifer Jareau was perfect and Emily thinks she could probably hate it if she wasn’t so damn turned on by it.

JJ lands back and is hovering over the brunette’s abdomen again but she hesitates momentarily before she looks at her left ring finger and realizes that she is still wearing the ring that symbolized a very different time in her life, one of ignorance and foolishness. So she simply offers, “One more thing to take off, I guess.”

With that JJ rids herself of the ring and tosses it across the room without so much as a thought before she leans back down and lets herself truly entwine with this woman. Their lips meeting once again in a sensuous kiss. This woman who she had loved for a decade and what they were doing was only solidifying it in her mind and she loved every minute of it.

As her mouth gets lost in the kiss, she allows her body to as well. Her center landing low on Emily’s stomach, so close to where the other woman needed her but not quite. They both moan into the kiss at the feeling of just how turned on JJ was at this moment, the blonde allowing her hips to buck and writhe with the feeling that the kiss was giving her. Emily feels the wet heat spreading and god, it does nothing but turn her on further, needing to touch the blonde as her hands find the younger woman’s breast, causing JJ to falter a little in their kiss and struggle for breath.

“Fuck, Em,” JJ says as she swats Emily’s hands away and trails kisses from the woman jaw, to her pulse point, to her collarbone and down the center of her chest as JJ’s hand find Emily’s own breasts but her mouth never stops until she slides far enough to where she herself had just been. She's surprised by just how much the obvious evidence of her arousal had left behind and she allows her hot and equally wet mouth to take its place as she licks the woman clean of herself.

“Jen, god, please,” is all Emily can manage cause right now, she’s pretty sure that she’s never felt so close to death and that was saying a lot for the older woman. “You’re killing me, JJ.”

“That’s pretty hard to do, from what I’ve witnessed anyway,” JJ says jokingly before her tongue finds its way up the scar on Emily’s abdomen, both realizing the significance of the words and the actions but not needing anything further to solidify them. That’s when she feels JJ’s tongue slide all the way to the edges of the fabric of her underwear that dear god, she knows all too well is still there.

JJ rids the brunette of them, now needing the barrier gone more than either of them and she knows she’s good at teasing but she knew just from the scent of the older woman that no more teasing was due for the evening. Her tongue finds a quick path up Emily’s slit, finding its way assuredly and steadily to her clit where she runs circles, nips and teases before she takes the woman in entirely, sucking and kneading exactly where she knows the woman needs her most.

“God, JJ, fuck,” Emily says and she’s trying desperately not buck her hips and it was most certainly not working. JJ has to hold her down slightly by the hip with one hand while the other was teasing its way up her inner thigh. Her fingers finding their way through the wetness and teases slightly at the entrance. “JJ, don’t you think you’ve teased enough?”

“Oh, there’s never enough teasing, Em,” JJ says seriously against the older woman, and she finds Emily’s eyes just long enough for her to take the brunette by surprise as she enters her swiftly with two fingers. “But I think I’ve been cruel enough for one round.”

As JJ feels her way easily into the older woman, who is more than welcoming, she sighs and finds herself moaning at the feel of this woman who was usually completely in control, letting her in and just starting to let go enough. Honestly, the thought alone of Emily Prentiss at the mercy of her fingertips was making her drip with her own need.

But that could wait cause she was finding her own pleasure at her unit chief writhing beneath her tongue and her fingers, already starting to edge dangerously close towards what they both know she needs. She pumps a few times, her quick tongue making use of old skills and taking in all the tastes of this woman and god, the feeling of Emily clamping and grasping around her, the older woman's breaths coming out in gasps and deep groans, had her moaning herself.

“Fuck, JJ, I’m gonna-” and JJ already knew, she already knew because she already knew every damn tell that Emily Prentiss had ever revealed to her. She knew that biting her nails meant Emily was nervous and scared, she knew the way that Emily’s tongue slid out of her mouth meant she was contemplating something a little too hard and now, with her legs shaking slightly and everything falling out of her mouth being a mix of another language and gibberish, that Emily Prentiss was about to come for her.

And god, did feeling Emily Prentiss release for her do things to the blonde that she had never felt before as she easily glided her fingers in and out, her tongue cleaning up all should could languidly as the brunette rode through her orgasm. She grips Emily impossibly closer and she didn’t think it was because honestly, feeling and making this woman high off of the pleasure only she could give her was all the blonde had ever wanted in her life but accomplishing it was a whole other story.

She releases her fingers as her tongue simply caresses and eases the woman down, and though the woman was still shaking she seems to have come to as she feels Emily’s fingers gliding easily through her blonde tresses. That’s when JJ’s blue eyes look up to meet their brown counterparts and she smiles at the sight of Emily’s lopsided grin greeting her back.

The words fall out of Emily’s mouth in a husk, “God, do I love you, Jennifer Jareau, and you do not even know what you just got yourself into…”

The thought makes JJ swallow hard but it also makes her wet at what exactly the daunting task that Emily is setting forth for her and tempting her with is. She had always been one to face a challenge head on and she had never been more excited than for this one. She chooses to meet this challenge with her lips upon the unit chief's and the two mix and meld flavors to simply share in all each other had to offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the jury is still out if i should finish what i started here and go for one final third part and so i rest the decision upon you.
> 
> title is from the song of the same name by The Weeknd.


	3. Pillowtalk (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me just say that this chapter was only intended to be a short epilogue to tie things up and not, i repeat, not supposed to have smut in it but here we are regardless. it's still only a small part of this chapter and not the reason for it. even though this went a different route than i was imagining, what can i say? these ladies inspire me. anyway, i hope you enjoy it!
> 
> please forgive any mistakes, i am the only editor (and i wrote and edited while very tired).

It was 7 a.m. and god forbid that Jennifer Jareau actually got to sleep in on a designated Saturday off. That would be unheard of even though she was grateful for the off day. She didn’t feel like she could move though despite her mind being wide awake, she felt her body not easily being able to rouse itself. Then she feels the legs entwined with hers, the arms around her hips squeeze a little tighter and shift slightly. She finds herself smiling without even realizing at the memory of why her body was so tired and she can’t help but think that despite exhausted limbs that it had all been worth it.

She finds the energy to shift to her other side and face the morning beauty that was Emily Prentiss. Her nearly black hair splayed out in every direction, her mouth wide open and maybe even the faintest bit of drool escaping that oh so wonderful mouth that JJ had experienced, multiple times, last night. She finds herself unable to comprehend just why this is quite possibly the best thing that she’s ever waken up to short of her sons. The blonde chuckles lightly before she goes to close the mouth of her unit chief.

Emily’s brows furrowed in the cutest way and the older woman huffed, before swatting JJ’s hand away and the younger woman couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that which helped further disturb the brunette from her slumber, “Mm, Jayje, what the hell?”

“You’re drooling, Em,” JJ says through her light laughter as she stared at the beautiful mess of the woman next to her. She was very aware of the fact that they were both still naked and wrapped up around each other and she was content with just that.

“Yeah, well, it’s…” Emily finally opened her eyes, a mere squint as she craned her neck to stare at the clock on the nightstand on the blonde’s side of the bed before collapsing back down and closing her eyes again. “7 a.m. and most human beings find seven in the morning on a Saturday a perfectly suitable time to be drooling, thanks. We didn’t get to sleep until like 2:30 so what are you even doing awake?”

“I just woke up, my body’s on a schedule whether I like it or not,” JJ says easily with a lazy shrug of her shoulders, she didn’t even have to contemplate the answer truthfully. She doesn’t even remember a day that she slept past nine in the morning. “Hashtag mom life.”

With this comment, Emily peeked one eye open at the blonde, a smile unwilling playing at her lips, “You did not just use the term ‘hashtag’ in a normal everyday sentence.”

“What? I’m the cool, hip mom, okay?” the younger woman jokes with a slightly defensive tone.

“Oh, the cool, hip PTA mom who carries a badge and gun and says things like ‘hashtag’ in actual human sentences,” the brunette replies with deep sarcasm. “I knew there was a reason that I’d end up regretting what we did last night…”

“Hey!” JJ exclaims, mocking offense as she grabs the pillow from behind her head and smacks Emily in the face with it. This ensues a string of laughter and swinging limbs that somehow ends with the older woman grabbing the blonde by the ass and setting her on top of her which involuntarily makes JJ moan in response to the swift and easy movement. “I didn’t hear you complaining last night.”

“Oh, you never do in the throes of passion, darling,” the brunette says, her smile which resembled something of a Cheshire cat giving away the fact that she wasn’t being serious. She pulls JJ down by the neck, bringing her adjacent to her lips and offers, “Well, since we _both_ have to be up apparently, we might as well enjoy ourselves.”

“Mm, yes, I think that is the best idea I’ve heard,” JJ says with a smile as she greets Emily’s lips with a soft, soothing kiss. As it continues, JJ’s tongue begs for entrance but the unit chief is teasing her and is not giving her an inch to work with. The blonde groans and frustratingly shoves Emily’s shoulders further into the mattress which only encourages the brunette’s maneuvers. “Don’t tease, Em.”

“Oh so now I’m the one who can’t tease, Ms. ‘there’s never enough teasing,’” Emily says as she takes JJ by the ass and pulls the woman’s entire body closer, so close they’re not even sure where one ends and the other begins. Emily grinds slightly up into the younger woman which makes her gasp, leading the older woman to slip her tongue in for a heated kiss that she actually _feels_ turning JJ on further.

Maybe it’s this fact that makes Emily not want to hesitate in pleasing the blonde, maybe it’s the fact that she wants to take and have JJ in every single way possible or maybe it’s just the haste that ten years of longing has placed in her bones that shot her adrenaline every single time they touched now. Or maybe she just couldn’t resist a moaning, wet and writhing JJ on top of her. It’s probably all of the above.

But it was slow and easy still, soft touches as the brunette’s hands roam over smooth skin from her ass to her back and round to her breast. But every touch left the blonde panting and sent chills of desire all over her body. More specifically the one place she desired for Emily the most but there was no rush.

It was honestly the older woman’s mouth who was starting to wander from the middle to the corner of her jaw, to behind her ear and back again until her teeth finally took ahold of the lobe. Her tongue dancing and dallying its way around before she bites and sucks and repeats the motion again. It leaves unintelligible things falling from JJ's mouth, just the feeling of that talented tongue at work.

She tries to take in every pleasurable move but between the delicate ivory limbs toying with her breast and her tongue, JJ feels lost to it all. Until those lips, that tongue find familiar paths now from her lobe to her pulse point where it doesn’t linger long from the dip at the bottom of her neck to her chest. She knows Emily is enjoying the salty mix of the sweat that is starting to dwell there by the soft vibrations upon her skin.

Nothing could describe the combination of feeling Emily’s tongue meeting her already sensitive nipple and the woman’s hands roaming her thighs which were already slightly shaky with the anticipation of it all and of simple need. And she’s not even sure how it had all transpired but she never was entirely sure how things ever happened with Emily, it just simply was and god, was she ready for her. Ready to be touched and not just teased, needing desperately to feeling this woman sending her over the edge.

Emily seems content enough in the notion as her right hand makes a steady trail up JJ's inner left thigh, just easing it’s way slow enough to be torturous but the brunette was not in the business of deny JJ anything. The brunette's fingers continue sliding their way through the blonde’s slit and all the way up to her clit, leaving the younger woman absolutely breathless as her tongue continued its happy explorations.

JJ absolutely keened with the feeling of the tips of Emily’s fingers building small circles, her body shooting forward slightly in pleasure and causes the older woman’s mouth to detach from her breast and to fall back on the mattress. It didn’t seem to matter as JJ was gone from the feeling of pressure on her sensitive area that Emily Prentiss seemed to instinctively know how to touch _just right_.

“Fuck, Em, babe,” JJ breathes heavily into the side of the older woman’s face as she places a kiss there, one hand holding her upright while the other found itself lost in the dark tresses atop Emily’s head. “Please, oh god, I need you to-”

“Shh, I got you,” is all the brunette whispers before taking JJ by the neck and kissing her again. And JJ’s lips can’t help but fall open, releasing a hot, deep gasp as Emily steadily enters her with two fingers, her thumb managing to take it’s missing counterparts place with ease. “I got you, always.”

Their tongues ache against each other, exploring more languidly and effortlessly finding their own language as JJ’s back arches. She can’t help but detach them when Emily’s finger find the spot, dear god, the one spot inside of her that had rarely been discovered in her lifetime. Somehow this woman had the patience and knowing to hit it every single time and it leaves the blonde open and riding this woman with abandon, leaving her entire body exposed and on display for her lover.

The feeling of Emily’s fingers inside of her, caressing quite possibly the only part of her body that could send blonde profiler to her knees. She knows she's close by the warmth low in her stomach, the quaking of her nerves and muscles and the way she was whimpering. “Oh my god, Em,” JJ manages to voice. “Fuck, don’t stop- oh, right _there_ , oh god.”

And with that JJ loses control entirely of her body, the force of which her orgasm hits sends her forward and only managing to hold onto the brunette’s jaw and neck. The tears that she’s just now realizing that have released themselves are stinging at her eyes as she pants hard into the side of Emily’s temple as she rides the woman’s limbs all the way through.

JJ instinctively knows the vibration from the nightstand is a text going off on her phone but she is so caught up in the intimacy of the moment that she can’t truly take in any of the surrounding senses that aren’t entirely the woman below her. She falls to the side of the mattress but Emily’s arms are still wrapped around her, both quiet in the hum of the room and comfortable in the sheath of each other’s body.

That’s when the blonde’s phone on the bedside table starts to vibrate at increasingly rapid rates. It’s particularly hard to ignore and as much as she wants to, she knows she can’t. The younger woman figures that the boys were still fine with her mother but she might as well check it anyway to be sure.

“Shit, alright,” the blonde mutters as she removes herself slightly from the brunette who groans while her eyes remain resting shut.

The younger woman simply laughs and shakes her head at the older woman’s antics as she grabs the phone and immediately falls back on the bed while rolling her eyes. She should’ve known who it was honestly especially after the earlier events of last night. She notices the two missed calls she had from her mom and then the myriad of texts from Will ranging from last night to now that read as:

 _JJ, where did you go?_ at 9:32 p.m.

 _Fine, I’m going home, I don’t need this!_ 9:46 p.m.

 _Shit, how did I even get home last night?_ 7:21 a.m.

_JJ, are you okay? Where are you?_

_Your mom is trying to call you_ at 7:23 a.m.

_Are you gonna pick up the boys from your mom’s at 9?_

_I really need you to do this, J, my head is pounding_ , she reads the final text from 7:24 a.m. Exactly one minute ago and she sighs. She figured she couldn’t stay in this blissful bubble forever but she just hoped she could have this one morning all alone with Emily before reality hit again.

“Em, we should get up,” she says as she extends her right hand and caresses at the dark bangs that were haphazardly placed over the woman’s forehead. But the older woman just groans and shakes her head. “Babe, I actually have to go and pick up the boys from my mom’s in an hour and a half.”

The brunette simply lets out an extended grunt of frustration before muttering, “Hashtag mom life.”

“Hastag mom life,” JJ repeats with a hint of laughter in her voice and a sympathetic smile as she watches Emily slide out of the bed in all her naked glory and start to gather what she could find of her clothes that had been spread out over the room the evening prior.

“I’m gonna just wash up real quick,” Emily mumbles before her eyes seem to open fully and look the blonde in the eyes with a hopeful smile. “You want to join me?”

JJ just nods her head in the negative, “Sorry but I think I’ve had all the fun I’m gonna have this morning.”

“What’s wrong?” Emily asks seriously, suddenly realizing there was a dullness in the blonde’s eyes now that hadn’t been their previously.

“Nothing, it’s just-” JJ sighs and wishes she didn’t have to deal with this right now, not when they were so happy in their ignorance of the real world but the bubble had to burst. “It’s just Will is the one texting me and he can be more of a child than Henry and Michael sometimes.”

Emily smiles at the notion but JJ can tell it wasn’t entirely genuine, certainly only half-hearted at best, “Right, well, do what you have to do and I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

The blonde nods again, she knows there’s a tension here that she figures is inevitable but that she wishes she knew how to break but there wasn’t anything she could honestly do about it. She had made her mistakes and waited so long to clear the air that she’s certain that she was made to suffer in the middle somewhere now for a while, somewhere between regret and happiness. She could live with that.

“Hey,” the unit chief speaks up from the door by the bathroom, peeking to look at the blonde and seeing nothing but the woman’s wheels turning. And it wasn’t in a good way, she knew. “I love you, you know?”

“Yeah, I think I do, Agent Prentiss,” JJ says with a genuine smile now as she stares into the brown eyes of this woman and feeling overwhelmed by them staring back. “And I love you too, so much.”

She eases her languorous bone out of the bed as the bathroom door closes and she replays the events of the previous night and morning in her head. She lets herself smile at the thoughts as she puts on her bra and finds the remains of her underwear at the foot of the bed and grimaces slightly before tossing them on the mattress to find the little black dress. She figures commando in this dress isn’t the best way to go but it was probably better than the alternative at this point.

JJ’s eyebrows peak at the thought of what had brought her here to this moment. She walks over to the closet where she had noticed a mirror lining the door there and takes in the state of her makeup and hair and legitimately laughs at her state, shaking her head because that’s all she could do. Who would’ve thought that all the annoyance and pains that last night was thought to be would lead to this?

Doing the best she could to manage the remnants of her eye makeup and contain the perpetual bedhead that the wiry strains of blonde back into some semblance of her usual straight mane. It’s then that a thought from the previous night occurs to her, “Shit.”

That’s the moment that JJ scours the other half of the room for what she had thrown away in such haste and without a thought. _There’s a metaphor for you_ , she thinks. Yet she can’t seem to find the object that had been so readily attached to her like a second skin for the last five years. One would have thought that she’d feel naked without it but in the oddest of ways, she felt freer due to her actions last night.

When Emily exits the bathroom fully dressed with a bit of steam following her out as she goes and looks back into the hotel room, she knows that it wasn’t in such a state prior to her earlier escape. She sees the opposite mattress, bedspread, sheets and all torn apart. She notices that tables and chair and even the nightstand were slightly askew now. She simply looks confused as she sees JJ is nothing but a whirlwind whipping about the room.

“Uh, lose something?” is all Emily can ask with a raised eyebrow, still eyeing the blonde carefully as she picks up the blazer she had lost the night prior and replaces it over her white shirt again.

JJ stops in her tracks however and let’s herself truly think about the question posed to her. She knew it was a run-of-the-mill question from the brunette but somehow it ran deep into the bones of the younger profiler. She takes one glance around the room, the wedding ring nowhere in sight as she simply and easily looks back over at the unit chief and smiles while answering, “No, no, I didn’t.”

“Uh, okay,” Emily says skeptically but lets the thought go, she looks at the blonde expectantly now with a shrug of her shoulders. “Ready to go then?”

All the younger woman can do is stare into those brown eyes, realizing now more than ever exactly where her heart and home has always been and maybe why she’s never felt quite complete. Because now, Emily asking if she was ready to go, such a simple question had her melting with the absolute easy, mundane and normalness in the madness of their lives. She could get used to this.

“Yeah, I think I’m ready,” JJ nods and walks towards the hand that Emily outstretches to her and takes it like it had been this all along and maybe somewhere deep down it had been. It just need to be unlocked and allowed to unfold between them so naturally as it was now.

As Emily opens the door for her, JJ takes the older brunette’s hand and doesn’t even look back at all that she was leaving behind. And as the door to the hotel room shuts, it’s a room that she hopes would keep all her lies and falsehoods and the hiding that she’s done for the last ten years locked away behind it to never see the light of day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap!
> 
> the title "Pillowtalk" is from the song by Zayn Malik.


End file.
